Circe: the courageous pursuit of self discovery and inner truth

Within her novel, Circe, Madeline Miller details the life, thoughts, growth, and struggle to attain the truth of the singular witch/nymph/goddess Circe. Circe’s brave questioning of the world around her, her uncompromising nature, and her ability to love, lead her to finding her true identity. Throughout her journey of self discovery, the reader learns about deceptive appearances, hidden natures and the freedom that comes with embracing the truth.

As a child, Circe began exploring truths beneath the surface when she witnessed the savage, vengeful punishment of her uncle, Prometheus. Circe felt compassion for her uncle and was sorry about the painful punishment he was enduring at the unforgiving hands of Zeus. She admired Prometheus’ disobedient act of bestowing fire on mortals and boldly offered him a cup of nectar which she then held up for him to drink. Soon after, she asked the wounded Titan,

“Is it true that you refused to beg for pardon? And that you were not caught, but confessed to Zeus freely what you did?” When he admitted that it was true, Circe questioned his motivation. Prometheus answered,

“Perhaps you will tell me. Why would a god do such a thing?” Pondering this mystery was something that pushed Circe along her path of self discovery.

And so, the reader sees the seeds of pursuing one’s truth planted in the young Circe. After slashing her small hand with the sharp blade of one of her father’s daggers, she learns something about who she is.

I am embarrassed to tell it, so rudimentary it seems, like an infant’s discovery that her hand is her own. But that is what I was then, an infant. The thought was this: that all my life had been murk and depths, but I was not part of that dark water. I was a creature within it.

This marks Circe’s first realization that she was not like the other divinities—she would bleed red blood when injured and this was just the first of many ways in which she was different. This physical confirmation that she was unlike the others made sense to Circe since she always sensed that she did not belong with the gods nor the nymphs.

Another step in Circe’s process of self-awareness was taken when she fell in love with the mortal fisherman, Glaucos.

I had stood beside my father’s light. I had held Aeëtes in my arms, and my bed was heaped with thick-wooled blankets woven by immortal hands. But it was not until that moment that I think I had ever been warm. ‘Yes’ I told him, ‘I will be here.’ His name was Glaucos, and he came every day.

This powerful passage conveys the truth that the grandiose powers of the immortal gods couldn’t touch her soul, warm her heart or impact her the way that one mortal could. As such, Circe wanted to transform Glaucos into an eternal god so that he would be able to live with her forever. Driven by her intense devotion to him, she devised a plan using her golden witchcraft. Painstakingly dripping the nectar of the Moly plant into Glaucos’ mouth as he slept, Circe successfully unveiled his true identity as a mighty god of the sea. After his divine transformation was complete, Circe is devastated that he chooses the outward beauty of Scylla to be his bride. Circe’s broken heart and jealousy motivated her to use her pharmaka powers to expose what she believed to be Scylla’s true identity. In doing so, the vile and vicious nature of Scylla is displayed for all to see. Circe is struck by the shallowness and callousness of both Glaucos, who promptly discards her for a prettier goddess, and of all of Scylla’s family members who revel in the salacious spectacle rather than feeling a modicum of empathy for her.

*Circe Invidiosa* (Jealous Circe), John Waterhouse, 1892 C.E.

Afterwards, Helios chides Circe for believing she possessed the power to transform mortals into gods or nymphs into monsters. Circe doubts herself at this moment in the novel.

I plucked a stalk and held it in my hand. It lay there limp, all it’s sap dried and gone. What had I thought would happen? That it would leap up and shout, ‘Your father is wrong. You changed Scylla and Glaucos. You are not poor and patchy, but Zeus come again?’

Insecurity and doubt are natural emotions throughout one’s process of self-discovery. At this point in her life, Circe was becoming more aware of who she was and with this new awareness came the stark recognition that she had not yet found her truest self.

I had a wild thought there beneath the sky. I will eat these herbs. Then whatever is truly in me, let it be out, at last. I brought them to my mouth. But my courage failed. What was I truly? In the end, I could not bear to know.